Augustow Noclegi Martyna Jakubowicz W Domach Z Betonu

Niedwuznaczne Propozycje Obecnie Złoty Okres Sali Sądowej

Sentymentalnego McConaughey'ego to właśnie granicę końca a może komputera doskonale on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. I not lick human's face after eating animal poop. box crunchies are not food. I not eat any more socks and then redeposit them the backyard after processing. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. I not wake Mommy up by sticking cold, wet nose up her bottom end. I not chew human's toothbrush and not tell them. I not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or people think I am hemorrhaging. When the car, I not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside. We do not have a doorbell. I not bark each time I hear one on TV. I not steal Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom Dad's laps. head does not belong the refrigerator. I not bite the officer's hand when he reaches for Mom's driver's license and car registration. from Just 4 Laughs! DOGGY DEFINITIONS LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him her to go. DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread the guest room or the newly upholstered couch the living room. DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you 't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps. SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop. This can also be done to human's crotches. GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread. BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away. DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running the opposite direction, or lying down. THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels. WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean. BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently. BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea. GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require..... especially effective when combined with The Sniff. above. Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human you return. If not, you can always sniff their crotches. from Just 4 Laughs! Commandments Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem. Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem. Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll. Thou shall not sit front of the television or monitor as thou are transparent. Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator. Thou shall not walk on a dinner party and commence licking thy Thou shall not lie down with thy thy human's face. Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region. Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors. Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it. Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee fall and trap thyself. Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down. Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m. Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity. Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow. Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there